Friday, January 31, 2014


Something a little different this time -- a phone call instead of an email. The other day, PRIVATE CALLER gave me a ring. My daughter was asleep, so I was kind enough to answer in order that the extension in her room didn't wake her. I knew it was going to be a scam, and I wasn't disappointed. The call, to the best of my memory, went like this:

ME: Hello?

(Silence on other end.)

ME: (threateningly) Hello? 

INDIAN GUY: Uh, yes, hello. We are calling about you computer.

ME: My computer?

INDIAN GUY: Uh, yes. We have been getting messages that your computer has been infected with a virus and we wanted to clean it for you.

ME: Well, let me give you a message. Fuck off and don't call me again!

I'm sure I'm not the first to request that, but it felt pretty good. I'm almost hoping he calls again so I can repeat my request to him. It's times like this, though, I miss those old landlines where you could slam down the receiver on the guy's ear instead of just gently clicking off.