Monday, March 23, 2015


 Once again, the UN is on the march, handing out money to scam victims:

From: United Nations Alerts <>
Date: Fri, Mar 6, 2015 at 7:27 PM
Subject: Response Needed


YOUR REF: (UN/WB/FGA)..00/15
BATCH: 807-2011-550/188/6-03-15
Scam Compensation approved in your name through United Nations mass assisted project funds. This compensation involves business investment failure, Inheritance, Contracts, Lottery, Dating, Diplomatic Payment, loan E.T.C, the mass assisted fund was approved to settle failed business / scam extortion.
Attn Scam Victim.
We wish to inform you that your scam compensation approved through United Nations mass assisted project, we have severally tried to contact you without success, are you willing to receive your scam compensation? You have to respond as soon as you receive this message because we have your compensation file submitted by UN external auditors in Switzerland and we have not heard from you. International global security watchers reported different degrees of scams and their mouthwatering proposals.
1, most times they will contact you to help them claim some certain amount of money as next of kin, 2, they will send different manners of mouthwatering proposals of how you become a contractor of some over-invoice amount, they will present you as inheritor to some funds, They even went to the extent of promising you marriage which will still end up extorting your hard earned money, they used different means and stories like buying of gold and precious stones and scraps which also will result to scam in the end, most times they impersonates and offer you job opportunities that still end in extorting your hard earned money and also uses ATM system to reap you off . Their intentions have always been to wreck you financially and emotionally because nothing good will be archived in the end. We have comprehensive information about how they operate through the security INTEL of international security watchers, they impersonate with fabricated documents without AICD security chip.

They impersonate FBI and other security offices to intimidate or threatened you to send them money or go to jail. You will hear more as soon as you respond to this message.
In furtherance, I presumed you must have been wondering why after paying all the fees requested by those crooks nothing was paid to you rather they enjoyed your hard earned money without remorse of their evil deeds.Those crooks operates through different avenues, locations and from many countries especially west Africa Nigeria, Spain, Ghana, Benin republic, London, Malaysia, Indonesia E.T.C.
The funds was approved so that you can invest into your own private business, it serves as help to your financial growth, it serves as debt reconciliation. Calculate how much you have sent to them yet not even a cent has been given to you, for how long will you believe them? Please don’t waste time to contact us for more information’s.
Finally, you will be surprise to hear more but be happy that United Nations mass assisted project has come to your rescue whatever you have gone through in their hands. We are going to provide %100 percent comprehensive evidence and gazette of how your scam compensation will be released, you can make inquiry and submit whatever business you are doing at the moment for security check and Intel report of the truth in the business. You will not regret rather be bold to expose evil no matter how they preach and convince you.
Dr. Richard James
Protocol Officer

I like "%100 percent" -- that's as professional as it gets. I was up for the challenge:
Crooks crooks crooks everywhere! Thank God for the United Nations. If you do the same bang-up job at rounding up internet crooks as you are defeating ISIS, well this should be a crime-free world at last!!

Yes I want to expose evil. Mr. James, you are the only honest person I can trust right now. I will do whatever you ask of me. Do you know why? Because you are honest! Tell me what to do, pronto. I want that goddamn money and I want it now because I DESERVE IT!!

Chester Hooten

When I didn't immediately hear from the good doctor, I figured all was lost. Until...

Attention: Chester Hooten,

I have received your response; the compensation was approved generally for global settlement of debts originated from bad investment and scam extortion. You have to provide the below stated coordinates required for international processing of your funds through ANZ bank Australia.
1, Your Full name, address, mobile telephone number, identification of your person, occupation and next of kin.

Finally, is imperative you stop further communications with anybody at the moment until after the receipt of your funds through the bank. This is not scam because you are not paying to receive the funds; a fiduciary agent shall consult the clearing of your funds once you respond with the above information. Your file will be submitted to the paying bank and bank contact coordinates shall be given to you accordingly.

Dr. Richard James
Protocol Officer
This was the first time that a scammer explained why it wasn't a scam. It was good enough for me:

What's up, Doc!

You don't have to worry about me, I'm going to keep my trap shut tight than Dick's hatband. I don't want anybody trying to take the money that is DESERVEDLY MINE!! I don't know what "fiduciary" means, though. It sounds dirty. Is it dirty, like sex dirty? Look, I'm not that kind of guy, but if it means getting that MONEY than I'll talk, but that's it. Nothing dirty.

MY NAME: Chester Rollo Hooten
MY ADDRESS: 93482 Hamfist Way, Fourdeadin, Ohio 88883
MY MOBILE NUMBER: 202-282-8000
IDENTIFICATION OF MYSELF: Yes, I'm me. And you can trust me, I've known me all my life.
MY OCCUPATION: Swill Management
NEXT OF KIN: Aggripa Hooten (Step-great-uncle by third marriage)

Thanks for the dough, Doc! I'll remember you in my will!

I never got a reply from Dr. James. Perhaps it was because he called the number and spoke to the receptionist at Homeland Security.