From: James B. Comey <jamescomeyPU@space.ocn.ne.jp>
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2017 at 1:23 AM
Subject: YOUR APPROVED FUND($10,300,000.00)
Federal Bureau Of Investigation FBI. Washington, D.C.
601,4th Street, Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C.
We want to notify you that the FBI Washington DC in conjunction with other relevant agencies here in the United STATES of America have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you have an over-due payment in tone of ten million, three hundred thousand US dollars (USD10.3Million) in Federal reserve bank. This was as a result of cash disbursed by the United Nations as a form of a winning/inheritance funds which only few lucky people would benefit from. We have done a random email selection and you happen to be among the lucky individuals to benefit from the exercise this year. You are advice to contact Federal Reserve bank immediately so they would begin with the transfer processes.
You are to contact Mr. Daniel Tarullo who happens to be a member of the federal reserve board via the email address below.
Contact him with the information below:
DIRECT CONTACT NUMBER:
That it was from "jamescomeyPU" seemed to be almost a dare to take it seriously. And what was the deal about a Japanese domain? Oh, who cares! It was time to get in touch with the Fed at its state-of-the-art aol.com address:
Now this is one time I don't mind hearing from the feds! You know, when I first saw that James Comey was getting in touch with me, I figured he was going to be on my ass about my private server. Although my kind of private server is the kind that comes on two legs and gets down on two knees, know what I mean? HA HA! Yeah, you know alright, I hear about the hijinx you guys get into when you're south of the border! Man, I wish I worked for the government. Hookers all around!
Well ain't I the lucky one, winning in tone of ten million buckaroos. I don't know what in tone means, but I don't care, as long as it comes with pictures of dead presidents (and I'm not talking Ford or Coolidge!). Looks like the godam United Nations did something good for once in its miserable life, and ain't I glad to be the one on the receiving end of its payout. No point in giving it to starving people in Africa. What are they going to do with it? Buy a ham sandwich? Not damn likely when they're in the desert! Nope, no good for them. Just forward it my way.
Now I wish my phone was working, but I'm afraid it's in the shop. I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. That is, I got drunk and swallowed it on a bet -- had to wait for it to come out the other end with the pepperoni and anchovy pizza! Ouchamagoucha! That was as uncomfortable an experience as Kate Moss eating solid food!
So while I wait for the phone to get fixed, I can give you the rest of the information you wanted, and maybe you can just hit the return button so we can email each other, right pal?
NAME: Chester Hooten
CURRENT ADDRESS: 32037 Hogshead Road
Hotfoot, Illinois 93749-3927
OCCUPATION: Overnight clean-up guy at strip club
Keep in touch, Danny! I'm ready to do what I have to in order to get that money!!