SCAM #38: JAMES B. COMEY/DANIEL TARULLO

You can imagine what a thrill it was to hear from FBI Director James Comey, especially after seeing him on TV during the last election. Was he trying to get me elected president in 2020? Let's find out!

From: James B. Comey <jamescomeyPU@space.ocn.ne.jp>
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2017 at 1:23 AM
Subject: YOUR APPROVED FUND($10,300,000.00)



Executive Director,
Federal Bureau Of Investigation FBI. Washington, D.C.
601,4th Street, Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C.
20535-0001, USA.

Dear Beneficiary

We want to notify you that the FBI Washington DC in conjunction with other relevant agencies here in the United STATES of America have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you have an over-due payment in tone of ten million, three hundred thousand US dollars (USD10.3Million) in Federal reserve bank. This was as a result of cash disbursed by the United Nations as a form of a winning/inheritance funds which only few lucky people would benefit from. We have done a random email selection and you happen to be among the lucky individuals to benefit from the exercise this year. You are advice to contact Federal Reserve bank immediately so they would begin with the transfer processes.

You are to contact Mr. Daniel Tarullo who happens to be a member of the federal reserve board via the email address below.

E-mail: federalreserveNYC.GOV@aol.com
website: www.federalreserve.gov
Contact him with the information below:

FULL NAME:
CURRENT ADDRESS:
OCCUPATION:
DIRECT CONTACT NUMBER:

Thanks.
James Comey

That it was from "jamescomeyPU" seemed to be almost a dare to take it seriously. And what was the deal about a Japanese domain? Oh, who cares! It was time to get in touch with the Fed at its state-of-the-art aol.com address:

Now this is one time I don't mind hearing from the feds! You know, when I first saw that James Comey was getting in touch with me, I figured he was going to be on my ass about my private server. Although my kind of private server is the kind that comes on two legs and gets down on two knees, know what I mean? HA HA! Yeah, you know alright, I hear about the hijinx you guys get into when you're south of the border! Man, I wish I worked for the government. Hookers all around!

Well ain't I the lucky one, winning in tone of ten million buckaroos. I don't know what in tone means, but I don't care, as long as it comes with pictures of dead presidents (and I'm not talking Ford or Coolidge!). Looks like the godam United Nations did something good for once in its miserable life, and ain't I glad to be the one on the receiving end of its payout. No point in giving it to starving people in Africa. What are they going to do with it? Buy a ham sandwich? Not damn likely when they're in the desert! Nope, no good for them. Just forward it my way.

Now I wish my phone was working, but I'm afraid it's in the shop. I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. That is, I got drunk and swallowed it on a bet -- had to wait for it to come out the other end with the pepperoni and anchovy pizza! Ouchamagoucha! That was as uncomfortable an experience as Kate Moss eating solid food!

So while I wait for the phone to get fixed, I can give you the rest of the information you wanted, and maybe you can just hit the return button so we can email each other, right pal?

NAME: Chester Hooten

CURRENT ADDRESS: 32037 Hogshead Road

                                  Hotfoot, Illinois  93749-3927

OCCUPATION: Overnight clean-up guy at strip club

Keep in touch, Danny! I'm ready to do what I have to in order to get that money!!

Sincerely,

Chester Hooten

So many of these scammers have email addresses that no longer work that I was surprised to hear back from Danny the following morning. As usual, he's looking out for my best interests:

FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD NEW YORK
33 LIBERTY STREET, NEW YORK, NY 10038.
 
Attention:  Chester Hooten ,

Thank you for contacting us concerning your unpaid funds.
All other beneficiary's is already receiving there fund
except for some of you.
 
However, i am assuring you that this transaction will be executed under a legitimate
arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Several financial institutions and government organization will also be supervising
this transaction. This organizations would stay 100% vigilant until we transfer
your funds into any bank account of your choice and just for the record, you are
dealing with Federal reserve bank NY, USA.
 
We have programmed your funds via our swift wire transfer diskette system (SWTDS).
You will have to provide any account information/details of your choice to avoid error on transmission,
quoting the above payment notification order to enable us(The Federal reserve bank) release your fund
($10.3million) into your account being the official bank Authorized by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI).
 
Based on the reports we have received, any office/person contacting or
telling you that your fund is in any other bank/organization outside Federal reserve bank,
is an impostor. Get back to me as soon as possible so i would let you know
the details we need from you to proceed with your transfer.
 
Thanks and hope to hear from you shortly.
Mr. Daniel Tarullo
Member federal reserve board

I wanted him to know how grateful I was:

Hey Danny,

Well, let me say that I am very, very glad that you're looking out for me regarding any 
impostors. In fact, I went online to see if you really existed -- and you do! They even 
have pictures of you on Google, which made me think, "OK, this is real, these funds
 are really mine."

 I know there are a lot of no good scammers out there who only want to rip off 
innocent people by getting all their personal information -- you know, like bank
accounts, credit cards, that kind of thing. But just knowing that the Federal 
Reserve is on the case makes me feel better about this whole thing.
 I CAN TRUST YOU!!

So let me know what I can do to get the ball rolling. Have a good day, Danny!

Your friend,

Chester

PS: Just between us, what do you think of President Trump? Good or bad? Smart or crazy?

That was four days ago, and I haven't heard from him since. Maybe he's still deciding
what he thinks about Trump.

                                                      ******************

SCAM #37: ALHAJI BUHARI MOHAMMADU

The Nigerian scams never get old. But in a new twist, I received one from the president of the country. Or is it the president of the scams?

Scam Victim Chester Hooten,

Sir,

I hope this messages gets to you in a good fate,As part of my promise to eradicate corruption here in Nigeria and the World at large,I wish to bring to you an emergency note with the LETTER OF REJECT OF FUNDS considering your inability to fulfill the obligations to enable you secure your compensation payment.

We therefore plead with you to print and fill the form attached and send back to us before the next 48 banking hours to be inline with our dead line.

You may wonder why a president is contacting you all by himself, but never to worry It is part of my campaign promise to fight corruption and I must do that with all  cost.

If you go through the Nigerian National Daily news papers, you may see that I have chosen to also take the office of the Nigeria National Petroleum Cooperation (NNPC)  because there are so many corrupt officers in that department and the same goes to the Central Bank Of Nigeria and the Ministry of finance.

I will therefore plead with you to do what is right this time so that your funds can get to you without any more delay hence it is my promise to bring back the good name Nigeria has in the past.

May Almighty Allah Bless us.

Yours in Service.

Alhaji Buhari Mohammadu.

Sheesh, why would I reject what's coming to me? Still, I didn't want to download the document. I hoped President Mohammadu would understand.

Dear Al,

Hope you don't mind me getting familiar -- I'm an easygoing guy, not like those terrorists I keep reading about. You're not one of them, are you?

So yeah, corruption -- tell me about it! We Americans are up to our keisters in corruption! I'm glad we're not the only ones. Have you been watching our presidential campaign? They might as well put Al Capone against John Dillinger for all the good it's doing us!

I would like my money, no question. But here's the catch. I'm afraid to download that document. It might be all infected or, even worse, be a bomb and blow up my computer! Not that I don't trust you, but... well, as Paris has proven, not everyone is ami with everyone else. (That means "friend," in case you didn't parlez Francais. That means "talk French," in cas you didn't talk French. Oh wait, I said that already, LOL!)

So if you could just ask me the questions I'm supposed to answer in a regular email, no attachment, we can get cooking. And I'm not talking about cannibals, LOL again!

Chester Hooten

Unlike most of his ilk, this scammer got back in touch within an hour. I can't say I appreciated him calling me by my last name. On the other hand, it's not my real name anyway, so what the heck.

Hooten,

Good to hear back from you,It is well said and i understood all.You are very right because this days no one can predict what will happen next.

I will want you to know one thing about the attachment that i have sent to you,It is a document which you have to fill,sign and send back to us letting us know that you no longer which to get your compensation payment from the Nigerian Government,Like i told you ion my last email,I made a promise to your president and the world leaders after my inauguration that i was going to make sure corruption becomes thing of the past here in Nigeria and Africa at large by making sure all you scam victims are paid at least half of your compensation payment to enable us bring back the good name of the Nation.

So my dear,You do not need to be afraid about the documents,It has nothing to do with bomb or what ever you think it has but only for you to let us know why you still left your funds here unpaid to you.

I wish you well and wait to hear back from you.

Thank You.

GMB

What is with these guys calling me "my dear"? I didn't have to time to ask him myself, because after reading the document, I needed one thing cleared up.

Buhari,

Well that's a relief! It's good to know that I can trust a total stranger from several thousand miles away. I guess that's why they elected you president. You're not like Idi Amin, are you? I'd hate for you to eat me.

I read the document, and want to make sure I understand it. If I sign it, do I get the money? Your English is way more sophisticated than mine, and I just want to make sure I know what I'm signing. Because I want that money that your countrymen scammed me out of! For all I know it was Boko Harum. Maybe you can form a different group called Bozo Harum and make fun of them. That's a free idea to you, prez!

So let me know if I need to sign it to get my money.

Chester

Once again arrived another email written in an approximate imitation of English. At least this time his salutation was a little more polite:

Hooten Sir,

Thank you for your email,Good question you have asked there,The document you have seen there bear FUND REJECTION FORM which means that by signing and filling it,You are no longer interested in getting the funds and it will be paid back to the Nigeria Reserve Treasury Account for the fight of insurgency and corruption both in Nigeria and the entire nation at large.

I have sent you the document to sign and return back considering my report from the senate committee on International Affairs and Money Policy who already cleared that you are incapable of fulfilling the legal obligations to get the funds to your possession.

There are three legal certificates i have asked from them in regards to all the compensation payment which are world bank demand from the federal government but i cannot see them in your payment file which means you are incapable of clearing the funds.

If you therefore have them and can send me copies via email attachment,Then you do not need to sign and fill the Fund Rejection Form because your funds will get to you as soon as you can send me the certificates for verification as requested by the world bank as part of my campaign promises.

I wait to hear from you with the requested certificates if you have the three of them and if you do not have,then you should sign and fill the funds rejection form and send to me,Remember that you are given 48 banking hours to do this.

Thank you.

GMB

What the --? If I read this right, this was the strangest scam that ever came my way: sign the document if you don't want the money, but send back three certificates if I did. What certificates? This would not stand.

Wait a minute, I want my funds! Those were promised me by your fellow Nigerians, and by God they belong to me. I mean, the funds, not your fellow Nigerians. You can keep them to do as you wish, Buhari sir.

I don't have any legal certificates. I have no idea what these are. Therefore, I believe this whole thing is yet ANOTHER SCAM to keep me from getting my money. Where is my money? Is there anything else I can sign? WHERE ARE THE CERTIFICATES?!

This better not be another scam. I willing to give you my banking information AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, that's how much I trust you. I'll even give you my collection of celebrity egesta and excreta, if that's what it takes.

So what do we have to do to get this show on the road?

They say that it's difficult to remember information read online. The scammer's reply is just difficult to understand, period.

Hooten Sir,

Good to hear back from you,With all due respect Mr.Hooten...My last email to you does not mean any harm as far as am concern and i had written you the message to let you know that we are not here to joke with anyone because i have promised to bring corruption to an End in this side of the world and Allah help me,I must achieve my arms.

Please note that i do not know you in person and have had nothing with you in the past but after i got my report from the Newly Appointed committee on International Affairs and Monitory Policy with your payment file saying that you have spent a lot to the hand of the last government of Nigeria under the administration of the Immediate past President in the person of Dr.Goodluck E.Jonathan,That is the reason why i have contacted you because a report on your payment file has been given to me by the chairman on Committee on foreign affairs and monitory policy.

Talking about the certificates that you are requested of,they are written below:

1, Certificate of Legality.

2, Registration Certificate.

3, Affidavit of claim and facts.

You have misunderstood my last message because some other people may have contacted you with my names and even pictures and with telephone number and that is the reason why i do not want to give out any of my details over the internet,I am President Mohammadu Buhari the new elected president of Nigeria and also the present  Minister of Petroleum..Nigerian National Petroleum Cooperation(NNPC) and have gotten your contact details from the committee on my request for all the scam victims who has there names in the scam victims compensation payment list and your name comes in as one of them.

You may wonder why a president is contacting you all by himself,and you are right but i am doing this hence it is one of my campaign promises to make sure Nigeria does away with corruption and that i must do only with your cooperation if you do the right thing.

If you can be able to present to me via email attachment the needed three certificates,Then you do not have to worry about filling and signing the Rejection Form and be rest assured that your funds will come to you without paying one more cent but if you do not have the three and cannot afford them ,Then you should go ahead and fill and sign the form and send back to us which means you are losing the funds to the Nigerian Government for the fight of insurgency and corruption in Nigeria and Africa at large.

I have written my name this way via email because of the Scammers who uses my full names and signature with even picture to scam all you off your hard earned money.If you really hard  about me 35 years ago when i was the head of states to Nigeria during my military age,You will understand the reason why my name is written that way.

Thank You.

GMB.

If he thought this was going to please me, he had another thing coming.

This isn't fair at all. I've been scammed out of my money, and you won't give it back unless I give you three certificates that I don't even know how to get. Isn't there some other way around this? I mean, what if I give you my phone number and we talk this out like men? Then I'll give you my banking information, too. I'll even give you my passport number. That sounds fair, right?

PS: Was Obama born in Nigeria or Kenya?

Thirty minutes later, I received an answer. Try reading this whole thing out loud. Nothing has been changed.

Hooten Sir,

If you go through my profile you should know that i am getting aged,Please don't get mad at me because i am doing what i have promised the world during my campaign to bring corruption to an end and make sure all the cal prints are brought to boo for interrogation.I am not too good in writing long stories or message because my words are clear because i am a man of my word.I am not forcing you to sign the Rejection form because i have just told you what it takes to get your funds but if you do not have any of these documents,How do you now then stand as a man to say you have funds here without the Registration certificate because i wonder how you can own such amount of Money without registering the funds in your name as the beneficiary.

How can you prove that you are the owner of the funds without these certificates? If i hadn't seen your payment file,I would have said that you are a false claimer but thank the almighty Allah that you have a file to prove the payment is yours.

The matter is not all about talking on the telephone as man to man because we are not here to joke,Corruption must be a thing of the past here and in the world at large because it is also among the discussion suggested during the World Leaders meeting held in Malta few days ago if you have followed the news.

Talking about what to do,There is nothing more or less to do than to secure the certificates from the Internal Revenue commission here who will deliver the needed documents to you both by email attachment and shipment of the original copy to you in your address via DHL.If you are ready to get them,Then you let me know so that i can ask them what it cost or each and what it cost for all but be rest assured that your funds will get to you as soon as the three certificates are obtain.

You may give me your telephone number is you wish but your passport should be sent to me as email attachment.I can also send you mine only on your request and promise that you must not send copies to anyone for security reason.
Obama is from Kenya.

Allah Bless us all.

It was good to get the inside skinny on President Obama's birthplace. (Too bad Donald Trump wasted all that money on detectives a few years ago!) I was impressed, too, that my pen-pal was up on current events regarding the EU conference in Malta. Still, I was getting tired of this back & forth, and figured it was time to bring things to a close.

I have to say, I'm mighty impressed that you, a president, would not only take so much time out from your job to keep in touch with me, but to answer me so quickly! I guess nothing much must be happening in Nigeria. Our president -- the one you assure me was born in Kenya -- is jetting all over the world these days. I bet he envies you!

Let me thank you, too, for making sure all the cal prints are brought to boo for interrogation. Not enough of our cal prints are brought to boo for anything, let alone interrogation. Yes, let it alone, please.

I'm ready to sign all necessary documents. Just to show you I'm operating in good faith, I've attached a photo of my passport. If there's a problem, give me a call at 312-421-6700. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!

Chester Hooten

I figured that took care of things, because I never heard from him again... That is, until five months later when, out of the blue, this email arrived:

 From: Muhammed Buhari <alhajimuhammedbuhari@gmail.com>; 

Subject: Re: Scam Victim Chester Hooten,
Sent: Mon, Apr 4, 2016 5:24:40 PM 

Are you sure you are alive? If yes then do you not read my emails? GMB Frankly, I thought that was a rather nasty tone to take, considering how slow he  was to reply to me. But why hold a grudge when there are millions of dollars at stake?: Hey there! Long time, no read! Good to hear from you. It's been almost five months, what  took you so long?  Well, to answer your question, I looked in the mirror, and guess what -- I is alive! ALIVE,  ALIVE! So let's get cracking. I want some of that money, pronto. What's our next step, friend? This time, his reply was prompt and to the point. Reconfirm me with your contact details in full please. Well, it had been a while since I last gave him my contact info, so there was no  reason to doubt that he had lost it. Dear Mr. President, You know, I'm honored that you're taking the time out from busy schedule. Why, just today  I read that you've received details of the 2016 budget. Let's hope some of that money goes  to me! Oh, and I like that you've banned government officials from flying first class on official  trips. Again, less money for them, more for me! Since the last time I gave you my phone number, I've moved. You can now call me at  702-584-5460. Ask for Chester Hooten, because that's my name. By the way, I've got a friend  staying with me for a while, and he has something of a sense of humor. So be sure to identify yourself as the president of Nigeria in case he pulls one of his pranks. Waiting for my money, Chester Hooten I gave him that warning because my "friend" would have identified the number of that  as the Las Vegas bureau of the FBI. Unfortunately, he didn't call. Reconfirm me with your full names,address and a working telephone number,Also let me  know if you have any legal certificates that clears your claim of the compensation payment. These guys sure were persistent, however irritating they might have been. Man oh man, you keep making this difficult. There was a flood here a while back, and I don't  have any documents left, other than my library card. Would that do? Chester Hooten 3499 Dupery Avenue Crankcase, OH  702-584-5460 I felt obliged to Google the address and city just to make sure they didn't exist.  The president apparently had his doubts, too, because I once again received the email he sent before: Reconfirm me with your full names,address and a working telephone number,Also let me  know if you have any legal certificates that clears your claim of the compensation payment. Sorry, forgot the zip code! Man, you presidents don't miss a thing! Chester Hooten 3699 Dupery Avenue Crankcase, 0U812 702-584-5460 PS: Who do you think will be elected president of America? I hope Marco Trump! This time I forgot the state. When I didn't immediately hear back, I figured it was  over... until I heard from someone else: Documentary/Legal Department@Central Bank of Nigeria <kttdepartmenttttcbn@yahoo.com> Attn:Mr.Chester Hooten, Greetings to you sir,I wish to reconfirm with you this detail,Please advise if it is  correct to your Knowledge as was received by the president as yours. Name:  Chester Hooten Address:   3699 Dupery Avenue Crankcase, 0U812 Waiting to hear back from you urgently. Chief Susan Green/KTT DEPT. The fancier the language, the bigger the scam. Still, it was exciting. Hi, Chief! That's it, you got it. Just add "OH" between "Crankcase" and "0U812" so the mailman  doesn't confuse it with Crankcase FL or Crankcase MN.  Looking forward to the money! Chester  PS: What does KTT mean? Kitty department? There was no time to answer my perfectly reasonable question when there was work to be done. Mr.Chester , See attached file ,copies of the four pages of your fund release order documents for  the final approval/onward transfer of your compensation payment to any account of  your choice,Note that the approval has been done since the year 2014 but because  of the past administration and the corruption they brought to this nation,You were  unable to obtain your claim accordingly. You are therefore advised to print them all out in color,Fill ,Sign and return back to  the address that will be given to you when you are done with the signings. Remember that the documents has some obligations that you must fulfill like you  see in page 3,Make sure you read carefully before signing because any mistake may cost you a penalty. Congratulations in Advance! Susan Green.

Nothing says authentic like TOP SECRET in '70s disco font. How can one not be impressed?

Those are some beautiful documents! Very colorful, and the printing is very fancy. Do I print them and mail them to you, or scan them and email after I send them? I want to make sure I do everything right so I can collect all that moolah-la-la!

Chester

It took only a matter of moments for her to scream back:

PRINT THEM IN COLOR FORM,SIGN AN FILL THE SPACES WHERE NEEDED

AND THEN SEND US COPIES VIA EMAIL ATTACHMENT FOR CLARIFICATION BEFORE WE GIVE YOU THE ADDRESS TO SEND THE ORIGINAL COPIES VIA DHL TO US.

REMEMBER THAT YOU MUST FULFILL THE OBLIGATION AS WRITTEN ON

PAGE 3 BEFORE SENDING BACK.

SUSAN

Finally, I could collect my hard-earned money -- until disaster struck:

Dear Susan,

First, I would have addressed you by your last name, along with a Miss, but I don't know what your name is, so sorry for the informality.

Second, bad news. I don't have a color copier! Mine is just black & white, like that song "Ebony & Ivory." Is a black & white copy OK? I'd hate to lose out on all that money just over a few colors. 

By the way, what's your last name? I want to be more respectful next time.

Chester Hooten

When I didn't get a reply, I figured that these guys had finally caught on to my own little scam. But three months later, out of the blue, came this missive:

SO SAD THAT YOU COULD FORGET ABOUT YOUR OVER DUE COMPENSATION 

PAYMENT WITH THE CBN BECAUSE OF A LITTLE PAYMENT OF 80$ FOR THE 

REGISTRATION OF YOUR PAYMENT FILE WHICH IS THE ONLY THING THAT 

HAS DELAYED YOUR PAYMENT TO YOUR ACCOUNT OF CHOSE.

CBN TEAM.

I don't know where they were all that time -- it certainly wasn't in a spelling or

class -- but I needed to let them know where I stood.

See here, CBN Team, it's been three months since I last got in touch with you. If you can't get your act together, we can just forget about the whole thing. You can keep my money and do what you want with it. Frankly, I'm tired of your tardiness and empty promises.

Now tell me where I'm supposed to send that $80, and maybe, just maybe, we can wrap things up.

Exhaustedly yours,

Chester Hooten

This time they replied almost immediately.

Go ahead and western Union the fees to the information as written below.

Name: Elisabeth Lima Bessa

Address:Boa Vista-Brazil

I wait to back from you soon.

KTT DEPT.

This back-and-forth had been going on all year, and frankly was boring me. In a

rare moment of clarity, I didn't reply. But a week or so after New Year's Day, the 

president got involved again.

PRESIDENT MUHAMMED BUHARI <alhajimuhammedbuhari@gmail.com>

To

Chester Hooten

Jan 9 at 5:22 AM

can you please explain to me the reason why your funds are reading
UNPAID from the bankers data base while your file with the legal
department of the presidency says your funds transfer to you is long
completed in your favor?

I wait to hear from you soon in respect to this.

GMB


I gotta admit, I kind of missed the guy, so I replied.

That's a good question, and it deserves a good answer. Just as I was getting ready to pay 

up, I was diagnosed with a case of lampooning of the frontal lobe (that's the brain, not ear!). 

Before you can say "phony baloney," I found myself in the surgical room of Blair General 

Hospital, where I was operated on by Dr. Leonard Gillespie. With the intern Dr. James 

Kildare at his side, Gillespie performed what can only be called a miracle: using only a 

bottle of Jim Beam as anesthesia (that is, he knocked me on the head with it), he cut 

into my skull using only a can opener. 

The surgery lasted six days (with the occasional time off for a nap), but Gillespie and 

Kildare were successful. And by successful, I mean I didn't die. However, I needed several 

months recovery before returning home. One of the side effects of the surgery was 

forgetting details like paying foreign heads of state for sketchy promises of monetary funds. 

That would mean you, Mr. President. So I'm sorry to have taken this long to reply.Can you

 let me know how much I owe and where I should send the dough? I'm going to need those 

funds to pay off the hospital.

Chester Hooten

The prez cared so much he replied later that same day.

so sorry to her about your I'll health but we thank the almighty that
you are alive today....

the only fees you should pay is the registration fees of 1050$ which
enables the APEX Bank her to get your payment file registered for the
onward transfer to your account of choice.. I will need a working
phone number of you so that I can text you the information to send the
fees to and then finally.. reconfirm your receiving bank details I
your next message.

GMB

Over a full year had passed since this thing started; I couldn't come up with
any more goofy problems, surgeries or questions, so I decided, once again to
stop replying. Over the next four weeks, I received the following emails:

am still waiting to hear from you and I hope you have been seeing my
messages.. I advise you to get back to me soonest.

GMB


I hope you have been seeing my messages?am still waiting to hear from you.

GMB

I hope you saw my last message?
GMB


can you please explain to me the reason why your funds are reading
UNPAID from the bankers data base while your file with the legal
department of the presidency says your funds transfer to you is long
completed in your favor?

I wait to hear from you soon in respect to this.

GMB

Salamalekum!!

I have Been Told by the CBN Boss that you still have not been able to
pay the  US$220 Requested for the registration of your funds to enable
the onward shipment of your funds to you,I wish to know your reason
because the Government has been mandated to make sure all scam victims
are paid off in this first quarter to maintain the relationship with
your state government to improve Infrastructural relationship.

Please do help us to make sure corruption is taken to the lowest level
in Nigeria by doing the right thing.

I thank you for making Nigeria  A great nation to have brought your
case to my office as one of the corruption problem to be solved.

May Allah bless us all.

The Presidency/For,

Gen.Buhari Mohammad.President Of Nigeria.

Months went by without hearing from them. Until...

Attn:Chester Hooten,

Date: 02/05/2017.

Sir,

This is to officially inform you that we have been waiting to hear from you
with the requested One Thousand United States Dollars Final Payment to
enable the remittance of your compensation payment to your BOM account
without delay as advised by the presidency who says he already told you
the information to send the fees to through an IRS service officer name
as written herein: VIVIAN OBIAGERI IWUEZE.

We await your response soonest.

Ms.Susan Green./KTT DEPT/CBN

I don't even have to keep baiting them to keep coming back! Let's see what they

have to say in another six months.

11/17/17: Well, it took nine months, but they finally got in touch with me again.
This time, it seemed to take the form of a poem:

Hello Hooten,
>
> It is sad to hear that your funds are still
> unpaid after my
> instruction to the vice
> president to make sure your funds are paid to
> you before I left to London for medical check
> up because of your
> inability to fulfill the
> requested obligation.
>
> I
> want to let you know that we have lost a lot of money to the
> scammer
> in your names because of your delay
> and shall no longer take that.
> you are there
> for advised to do what is right and get tour funds to
> avoid mischief.

What will next August bring -- a haiku, perhaps?

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