SCAM #10: JAMES DIMON

According to Wikipedia, James Dimon "is an American business executive. He is the current chairman, president and chief executive officer of JP Morgan Chase, one of the Big Four Banks of the United States, and has served as a Class A director of the Board of Directors of the New York Federal Reserve since January 2007." For a guy with that kind of resume, his grammar skills are somewhat lacking:

From the Desk Of:
Manager: Mr. James Dimon
JP Morgan Chase Bank.
New York City
Telephone +3472-989-606

Legitimate Entitled Owner Of: US$9,500. 000.
RE: ABSOLUTE LEGAL CERTIFICATION: FINAL CONFIRMABLE REMITTANCE

This is to notify you that your fund which the JP Morgan Chase Bank  has map out to wire your over due contract  payment  to your nominated account, has been given stop order. Because we are having some problems with the international monitoring fund (IMF) because of the delay and the documents sign by one Mr. Robert  William, whose photographe is below.

Also the money which involved is $9.500,000,00 United State Dollars.

We have one Mr. Robert  William who said that you sent him to sign the documents for you and he is the one that sign all the documents consigning your fund and also commission the JP Morgan Chase Bankto send your fund to his account, but because of the fraudulent act the decided to know.

1)did you send any body to sign any document for you.
2)did you consult Mr. Robert  William to wire your fund to his nominated account

3)did Mr. Robert  William organically related to you, is he you uncle.

Then if you are not the one that send him you kindly send to us immediately so that we can not make any mistake.Below is the information which you will send to us.

1)   Your Full Name:
2)   Your Contact cell phone number and your fax number for easy communication.

3)   Your banking information were your fund will be wired or ATM CARD to your doorstep.

4) Your address

Note: that we have only 7 working days to receive all this information which we required from you so as soon as we receive the information from you, your fund will be wired into your account within 24 hours contact me through my personal email address mr.jameslee497@yahoo.com.hk.

Your immediate response will be highly appreciated
Best Regards.


Mr. James Dimon
Manager: JP Morgan Chase Bank
New York City
Telephone +3472-989-606

Why would James Dimon of New York use a Hong Kong email address under a different name? It, like his grammar, spelling and punctuation, was a mystery I hoped to unravel with my reply:

Mr. Dimon,

I am so sorry for not getting back to you earlier. I was in the hospital for surgery on my broken coccyx (that's coccyx, not you know what!). It took longer than I expected to get home. I kept setting off alarms when I walked out through the metal detector. It turned out the surgeon left some of his tools in me! I said to him, "What do I look like, a toolbox?" LOL!

So I hope I'm not too late for this money thing. Unfortunately, there was no picture of Mr. Robert William attached to your email. Can you resend it to me with the picture? I don't want to make a mistake. I have lots of relatives, and this might be mine. I don't someone to make a monkey's uncle out of my uncle!

Thank you. You are a 24-karat Dimon!

One day later came the response, even more unreadable than the first email:

Thanks for your message and you have to know that this man call Mr. Robert William tries to wire your fund to his nominated account we don’t want to make

any mistake. And here is the attachment of photographer is below.

1)did you send any body to sign any document for you.
 2)did you consult Mr. Robert  William to wire your fund to his nominated account
 3)did Mr. Robert  William organically related to you, is he you uncle.

Then if you are not the one that send him you kindly send to us immediately so that we can not make any mistake.

Below is the information which you will send to us.

You are advice to make your choice of your payment from our payment methods so that your Fund will be release to you,

(1)Cash Delivery to your doorstep
 (2) ATM Card  with us in JP Morgan Chase Bank.
 (3) bank to bank transfer.

Your Full Name:...,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,
Your Complete Address:.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Direct Tele: Number:.......,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,
Mobile Number: ....,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Occupation:...,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Nationality:...,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,

Note: that we have only 7 working days to receive all this information which we required from you so as soon as we receive

the information from you, your fund will be wired into your account within 24 hours

Your immediate response will be highly appreciated

Best Regards.

 Those IDs couldn't have looked phonier if I had created them (and that's saying something). It was what I wanted, but there was still another matter that confused me:

Helloooooo Mr. Dimon!

Thank you for sending the picture of Mr. Robert William. But I am still confused about what I have to do. Do I get the money if I say he is my uncle? If  that is the case, HE'S MY UNCLE!!!

And if I get the money if he's not my uncle, HE'S NOT MY UNCLE!!!

Let me know which is the way I should reply to your next email.

I hope my response was immediate enough.

These jokers must have really been salivating, for their response came in about an hour, a record:

Thanks for your message and you have to know that Mr. Robert William told me that you sent he to come and sign all the documents by him and he is your uncle. Then if you are not the one that send him you kindly send to us immediately so that we can not make any mistake.

Well, no way I wanted Mr. Dimon to make a mistake:

Hello again (and again!) Mr. Dimon!

I've looked at that picture again and I must say that I'm not sure if that is my uncle Mr. Robert William. I haven't seen him since he slipped on a banana peel and went into a six-year coma. However, since he's up and about, he must be OK and remembers the "special" nickname he had for me. If you ask him what my nickname was and he answers "Passpartout", then boy howdy that's my uncle Mr. Robert William! And if he doesn't know, then you're dealing with a scoundrel and I want NOTHING to do with him. You hear me? NO THING!

So I hope it's him. I had no idea Uncle Mr. Robert William had that kind of dough lying around, and I'd like to get my hands on it if he's giving it to me. As well he should. Passpartout is a stupid nickname and I want a payoff.  

I guess I'll never know if the man claiming to be my uncle is legit. I never received a reply.
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