Wednesday, November 13, 2013


 After all these scams, it was good to hear from Scotland Yard. Finally, I was going to get some action!

Chief Ian Blair <>

  Date: 29th Of October 2013

Attn:  Card Owner,
This is to inform you that we have been notified by the SCOTLAND YARD POLICE monitoring team that an All Time Money Card(ATM) has been sent to your address on Monday the 21st day of October 2013,Through the  United Nation Humanitarian Department/US Customs Service as written on  the envelope, After our online investigation,It has been said to stop the movement of the card which left USA to your address because of a  non payment of 200 Great British Pounds for the Internal Revenue commission fees.(Mandatory)
If you have in anyway paid these fees in the past,then you are  therefore advised to get back to this office through this same email( with the payment information for the amount as written above to enable us release the movement of your ATM card which has an accompany documents from the united Nation.And if you have not,then you will have to get back to us to enable us link you to the information for the payment.
We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you but also plead with you to do what is needed hence it is the organization policy and can not be void by any company or individuals.
Best Regard,
Chief Ian Blair.
Chairman, Central Scotland Police

Wow. I like to consider myself a fairly intelligent guy, but that email made absolutely no sense to me. I realize English isn't these crooks' first language, but at least the others made some kind of sense. For the first time, I had to be something close to honest in my reply:

My dear Chief Blair:
I appreciate you getting in touch with me on such a vital matter. Unfortunately, after reading your email three times, I have no idea what you're trying to convey to me. Perhaps it's the difference in our different approaches to the same language. It could be that, in transmitting your message, the words got mixed up. Would you please send another email to me in words I can understand? I'm very much a supporter of the police in any country, and want to do whatever I can to help.  

After three days of silence, I received a reply:

Thank you for your email Mr.Kevin,Hope you are doing well?

I am very sorry if you don't really understand my message,Sure you are right that it may have to do with differ languages,I was just trying to inform you that there is a parcel which contain an ATM card here in your name and address but was stopped by this noble office because of the non payment of the IRS Charge for the government,and the prize is 200 Great British Pounds.


Ahh, that was more like it! But since I started out as something resembling a normal person, I had to continue in that vein:
My dear Chief Blair:
Thank you for asking about my well-being. I commend your noble office for doing its duty. I'm more than happy to pay the IRS whatever it is owed. But the ATM card is worth 200 pounds. That's British money. Great British money, in fact. There's not a store in America that doesn't accept anything but the good ol' U.S. dollar. What good would the ATM card do me? 

One look at the length of his reply and I knew he was salivating at getting the dough from the alleged sucker he had hooked:

Tel: +447452285590, +447430180590

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Date: 6th Of November 2013

                                       SCOTLAND YARD POLICE SURVEILLANCE UNIT LONDON UK
Attn: Kevin Kusinitz,Thank you for your email letter of this day,To tell you the truth my dear,I cannot send out my ID to anyone on internet here for any reason considering all what scammers has done with my names and even officials email Id and that is my reason of contacting you from a personal and more secured email id.If not that is the only thing i should have sent to you as prove.

The attached file is a copy of your ATM Card which i am not also supposed to send to you but due to your Status and what your file says you have gone through in the hands of the scammers,I have decided to send you a copy as email attachment.Although it also bear some legal documents in your names and address but i cannot attach them all for you because it is against the law hence it is not rightfully mine.If you have read my first email carefully,you would have seen that it was sent from the United Nation humanitarian agency for compensation via US Custom Service. and the amount in the ATM card is US$4Million Only from what the documents attached to it states,I will also want you to reconfirm me with your full names and address so that i can cross check with what i have on the envelope to avoid wrong address.
What i have tried to make you understand is that the sum of 200 Great British Pounds is needed for the IRS service charge which must be paid before the card will be delivered to you.If you are therefore pleased with my email,then you get back to me so that i can link you with the information to send the fees to.

I hope this answers your questions?

Best Regard
Chief Ian Blair.
Chairman, Central Scotland Police

I thought he was getting overly-familiar with that "my dear" stuff. Plus, he  had mentioned nothing about $4-million in his first email. Bad attitude on his part.  I thought it was time to wrap this up sooner.
 Sorry it took so long to reply. I just moved to a new house and it took a while to set up my internet service. I'm a little short of cash right now. Do you think you could lend me the 200 pounds, and I pay you back when I get the ATM card? Once I get that four million bucks, you know I'm good for it. I could ask my brother for the cash, but he's out of the country. He's an FBI agent and is in Nigeria on some secret case.
I figured that would put the fear of God in him. I figured wrong:

Sorry,There is no way we can do that,You must pay the money to get your Card.
What part of "FBI agent" did this guy not understand? It looked like I had to get a little more hamfisted:

Good news. My brother the FBI agent is flying to London from Nigeria next week. He says you're a good friend of his, having worked with you on some cases involving email scams. He would be happy to drop by your office with a check for 200 pounds (and even take you out to lunch!). You can then give him the ATM card, which he'll give to me when gets back to America.

He'll be in touch with you regarding his arrival. Thank you for your help. 

Was he fooled or did he realize that he was the one who got scammed? I'll never know. Nice ATM card, though.