Saturday, March 2, 2013


And we return to China. This guy took a different twist, bringing my family into the picture:

Dear Friend,

I am Li Chen, an account manager in China Trust Bank, a licensed bank
incorporated in China Asia. I am getting in touch with you regarding a
customer in my bank who died here in Asia without a next of kin and an
investment worth millions of dollars placed in our bank some years ago,
and I happened to be his accounts officer.

However, this deal will be executed under a legitimate arrangement since you
bear the same last name with the deceased. I am contacting you independently
and will intimate you more about myself and details of the project if and
when I receive your response. Kindly get back to me if you are interested
in partnering with me on this project.

Li Chen.

Lucky for me, I was apparently the only person in the world with the same last name of the deceased.

 OMG, I wondered what happened to my uncle Shemp! He went to your country many years ago to "convert the heathen Chinese" (his words, sorry if you're offended). We hadn't heard from him since he decided he'd had it with being a minister and decided to invest in a strip club in your country. No wonder he made a fortune. Even your noble country likes to watch strippers. And who can blame you? Not I!
A legitimate arrangement is the only kind I would get involved with. I would like to know more about this and collect the fortune that is inherently mine. Please get in touch with me.
PS: Is you a woman?

Uncle Shemp would have been very sorry to see I blew millions of dollars by being a smartass, for Mr. or Ms. Chen cleverly saw through my disguise. I've got to try to be more serious with the next scam that comes my way. These short-term relationships are a pain.


Africa! Land of mystery... drama... over-invoiced contracts:

TELE: +27-8468-454-34

Good Day:

First, let me start by introducing myself as MS SUSAN SHABANGU, a mother of three children and the Minister of Mineral Resources of the Republic of South Africa since May 2009. To date under the auspices of the President of South Africa MR JACOB ZUMA. After due deliberation with my children,

I decided to contact you for your assistance in standing as a beneficiary to the sum of US$30.5M (Thirty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) You can view my profile at my (website by clicking( and read about me. THE PROPOSAL, After the swearing in ceremony making me the Minister of Mineral Resources, my husband Mr. Ndebele Shabangu died while he was on an official trip to Trinidad and Tobago in 1996.After his death,

I discovered that he had some funds in a dollar account which amounted to the sum of US$30.5M with a security and finance institution in South Africa of which I will divulge information to you when I get your full consent and support to go for a change of beneficiary and subsequent transfer of the funds into you a comfortable and conducive account of your choice.

This fund emanated as a result of an over-invoiced contract which he executed with the Government of South Africa. Though I assisted him in getting this contract but I never knew that it was over-invoiced by him. I am afraid that the government of South Africa might start to investigate on contracts awarded from 1990 to date.

If they discover this money in his bank account, they will confiscate it and seize his assets here in South Africa and this will definitely affect my political career in, government. I want your assistance in opening an account with bankers through my banker so that this fund could be wired into your account directly without any hitch.

I am offering you 20% of the principal sum which amounts to US$6,100.000.00 (Six million One Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) and 5% will be for any expenses that both of us may Insure in this transaction. And another 5% will go for Motherless babes home. However, you have to assure me and also be ready to go into agreement with me that you will not elope with my fund.

If you agree to my terms, kindly as a matter of urgency send me an email.( if you want to speak with my Banker that promise to help move this fund out of south Africa to your account, that is fine and okay by me. or any time you want to speak with me then I will give you my private numbers so that we can talk more about the transfer, Please I do not need to remind you of the need for absolute Confidentiality of this transaction.

You might think where i got your email contact, i got your email id from the South Africa chamber of commecre in a search for a honest person who will assist me transfer my fund out of South Africa

My regards to your family.

Yours faithfully, pls get back to me

Minister of Mineral Resources
Republic of South Africa since May 2009.
TELE: +27-8468-454-34 

I like how these guys always play the charity card, as if anyone greedy enough to fall for this would care.

First, let me express my condolences on the passing of your husband. Second... well, we both have to admit that it was a good thing he died. Otherwise, we'd never know about the money! And let's face it, when it comes to money, death is better than life. I bet you were pretty ticked off he was hiding the dough from you. I wouldn't blame you for being happy that he kicked the bucket. I know I am.

And as for your charity -- anything having to do with babes without mothers prying into their affairs (pun intended!) sounds good to me! The more babes the better, I say. You know how childrens charities send photos to the sponsors? I'd like some of those, too, especially if they're, oh, about 25, blonde and stacked like the Chrysler Building.
No way would I elope with your fund -- I'm a swinging single and intend to stay that way. So in answer to your wonderful offer, yes, get in touch with me! And thanks to the South African C of C for realizing what a stand-up guy I am. 

Looks like those motherless babes will have to survive without me. I never got a reply from Ms. Shabangus.