Friday, February 1, 2013


In retrospect, I should have asked him if he had any connection to Bosco chocolate syrup.


I am attorney Dominic Church, writing to inform you that your name was selected in a random drawing conducted at our chambers today, which automatically qualified you as the sole legal beneficiary to the Duro Bosco’s philanthropic funds of 15M USD.

Your winning entitles you to 60% of the amount stated above, while 40% will have to be donated to any charity organization of your choosing. This project is 100% real and legitimate, and with your maximum cooperation, the funds would be remitted to you within the next 5days. You should respond to this email ASAP for further information about this project and how to proceed with claiming your winning.

Waiting to hear from you

Dominic Church (Esq).
On Behalf of:
Duro Bosco Philanthropy

"100% real and legitimate" -- it works for me! Even if I get to keep only 60% of it. I answered immediately:

Dear Mr. Church (Esq.),

This is so exciting! 60% of 15 million is a lot of money! (I’m not sure how much – never good at math. LOL!!) How did I deserve this? It doesn’t matter. Maybe I do deserve it! I’m a good person. I work hard. I don’t know if the news wherever you’re from – it can’t be America, because nobody but Trump has 15 million dollars -- but our economy is very bad. My work is really cheap and is firing a lot of us to make even more money. (Don’t tell them I told you. LOL!!) So I would really like to have more money.

I have so many charities I’d like to help. My father died from lumbago. There must be a lumbago charity. People talk about cancer, nobody talks about lumbago. That would be a good start. Maybe you can help me find the lumbago charity.

Thank you and let me know what to do. I want to help people with lumbago (and myself! LOL!!)

PS: I’ve never seen (Esq.) in someone’s name. Is that German or French?

That did the trick. The next email was from the philanthropist himself. He was kind enough to attach three photos. The captions are his.

My dear friend,

My first email to you via my attorney was not very elaborate, so I will try to shed more light on this project. My name is Duro Bosco, a 52yr old Saudi Arabian national, currently based in Malaysia. I have worked for years in the Oil Sector as a freelance crude exporter and importer. I have made so much money all my life, but I haven't lived my life well. I have been so selfish and greedy; in all my affluence, I have never given back a dime to humanity. This might be the reason nature has decided to punish me.

I write you this email in total agony; I am under excruciating pains in my chest, I'm constantly vomiting blood, the level of my heartburn is at least 13times more than the normal person, swallowing even water is to me at this time, one of the hardest things ever to do. The doctors have inserted a stent to keep my esophagus dilated so it's easier for me to swallow. You see, I have been diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer which was not detected until it had spread out into various organs of my body. I have had chemotherapy and radiation and then surgery to remove the cancer, but it's spread so much, all the treatments have been to no avail. 

The doctors have finally informed me that I have only two weeks to live. Before this information from the doctors, I had already accepted my fate, and have made peace with my maker, now I am ready to face the inevitable. Before I pass, I will like to do right by humanity. I know money cannot buy my way into heaven or peaceful eternity, but I want to have peace with my conscience and go in peace and rest of mind when the day comes. Before my predicament, My personal company had deposited the sum of Fifteen Million USD (US$15,000,000.00) in a private bank here. It is my desire to give that money to good cause which supports cancer patients. All I am looking for now is a trustworthy person to assist me in bringing my last wishes to pass. This is why I am writing you to take control of my funds and disburse it as I desire. When you procure the funds, please keep 60%($9M) to yourself and make a good investment with it, as I have been in money so long to know that money comes and goes and goes really fast, a lot faster than it came. Then donate the balance 40%($6M) to a charity/cause that takes care of cancer patients.

This is the only thing that will give me a clear conscience in joining my ancestors, and everyday I breathe is another day that draws me days closer to the inevitable. I am ready to move on, but I want to know that this has happened when I go. This is my last wish on earth, please my dear friend, be the one to help a dying man live to see his last earthy wish come to pass. I am attaching three photos to this email. The first one is the doctors breaking the death news to me and delivering the reports, the second is me trying to spiritually educate my mind by reading articles online, and the third is just, well, a preamble of what my daily live is like. Please respond to this email with your direct phone number, just to reassure me that you will deligently perform this task, and that the $40% ($6M) will be given to the best cause you know. As soon as I receive your response, I will give you all the information you'll need to get this done. I'll give you my lawyer's contact details, and he'll provide you with all the necessary papers to get the funds and help me fulfill my last heart desire. Do this for me, and heaven will NEVER turn it's back on you.

Waiting anxiously beside this computer to hear back from you.

In faith
Duro Bosco

Doc breaks news

Using my last days wisely
What I go through
I never knew doctors posed for photos when they break "death news" to their patients. It certainly plucked my heartstrings -- so much so that I attached a photo in my reply:

OMG! That sounds terrible. Your illness I mean, not your money. But you're right! Money doesn't buy happiness!

But like my uncle used to say, “Every cloud has a silver lining.”  (he told me a lot of sayings!) Do you know what that means? For every bad thing that happens, good comes. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but look, you have cancer but you are rich!  Not me. You know what my father left me? His shoehorns. That’s right. His shoehorns. You live in Malaysia, so I don’t know if you know what shoehorns are. They’re metal things that you put in your shoe. When you’re not wearing them I mean. I don’t know why. I think it would be good to let them be empty, kind of like to rest. If I were resting, I wouldn’t want anybody to put a shoehorn in me. By the way, I don’t know why they’re called shoehorns, you don’t play music with them.
I would like to help you very much. And like I said to your lawyer I would like the money for me and a lumbago charity. But I live with my mother (I need to take care of her because she has a twisted manitoba near her labonza so she can't get around much). She doesn't like me to hand out our phone number to strangers or even friends. We haven't gotten a phone call in five years! But I think she would let me give you our number. She's visiting her sister in Dubuque right now . I know you have only two weeks but if you can just wait until my mother gets back, that would be a good thing for us. Maybe the day after tomorrow?

PS: Those pictures you sent made me very sad. If you could send happier pictures I would like that. I have attached a happy picture of me to make you feel better.


 My photo must have scared Mr. Bosco because I never heard from him again.

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