Friday, February 1, 2013


The scammer so nice, he named himself twice:

Dear Beneficiary,I Am Dr. Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, The Executive Governor Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) . Please confirm this information As Urgent As Possible. Did you Send MR. Gary Stocking from USA to Come And claim your Contract funds Valued at US$10,000,000.00?.(TEN MILLION) Your Funds Which Has Benn Long Approved In Your Name By The Federal Goverment Of Nigeria, And Was Deposit Here In Central Bank Nigeria (CBN). Below is the Banking account details of Mr Gary Stocking Where he want us to transfer your funds to. International Bank of Qatar,Account Holder Name:Gary Stocking Account Number:0001220480001,He is Also trying to pay all the charges And Get your funds claim . Please your urgent confirmation is highly needed now before Your fund will be released to A Wrong Person Within The next 48 hours, Regards,Dr. Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, Direct Mobile Tel +234-80-23803501
  I admit to having been confused -- is his first name Sanusi or Mallam? I probably should have called him on his Direct Mobile cell. But I was too excited:

Holy mother of Guam! $10,000,000.00! Do you know how much that is? $10,000,000.00, that's what!  That kind of dough I could use like Kim Kardashian uses a crust remover.

I hope you don't mind but at first I was afraid that this was a scam, too, but I googled your name and there you were! Now I believe you. Your picture is trustworthy, too.  I read that somebody accused you of plagiarism but I don't believe them. You wear a bowtie and that's good enough for me.

Please stop that crook who is disabusing my good name. I hope you have the death penalty in Nigeria. HUGE fan of the electric chair  but in your country maybe you should throw him in a lion's den, naked and covered in gazelle blood. Do you have lions around your house, or elephants? But giraffes, forget it. Those long-necked bastards can bite me. AMIRITE?

I just moved to New York (the city that never sleeps, FWIW) and haven't  had the chance to get a new phone or open a bank account yet. BUT BUT BUT I have a passport (like I ever travel anywhere, LOL!!) I scanned it, it's here. I should have my account open by tomorrow, is that good for you?

God bless (and Goodluck, LOL!!) Nigeria.

I should have remembered the effect that photo has on people. I never heard from Mr. Sanusi again.

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