Thursday, June 26, 2014


This guy was so excited to offer me a low-interest loan that he neglected to remember basic grammar, punctuation, and syntax skills:

Date: Wed, Jun 25, 2014 at 6:42 AM
Subject: Re: USA LOAN

I am Mr George E. Smith Executive director in the USA in California, We offer Legitimate Loans without collateral at the low interest rate of 2% with maximum guarantee and assurance.If you are in need of a loan, We will like you to let Us
know how much you need as loan in your next email so that i can provide you Our loan conditions for the swift processing of your application immediately.You can apply and get your loan same day if you are in the States,We await you,it is
cheaper and convenient for you..One America One Love.

(1) Name:
(2) Address
(3) Sex & Age:
(4) Amount Needed
(5) Loan Duration:
(6) Monthly Income
(7) Valid Telephone/Fax
(8) Purpose of seeking Loan:
(9) Profession:
Please send your details to:

Best Regards,
Mr.George E. Smith 
No need for formalities; I got right down to business:
(1) Name: Chester Hooten
(2) Address  948 Alpaca Drive
(3) Sex & Age: Not enough & 45
(4) Amount Needed $5,000
(5) Loan Duration: Forever

(6) Monthly Income  If I had an income, I wouldn't be asking for a loan, you stupid SOB.
(7) Valid Telephone/Fax  They shut off my telephone
(8) Purpose of seeking Loan:  Prostitutes. Lots of prostitutes
(9) Profession: Manager, Hooten's Flea Circus

Let's get cracking on this, George. I need some action, pronto.

Chester Hooten 

Man, I wish I had a phone. Maybe he would have replied. Or was it that "stupid SOB" crack?


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