Friday, June 27, 2014


 From the "sir/madam" to delivering the check to me "without any huddle," this is the most inept scam I've received so far. Oh, and let's not forget that the head of the FBI's email address is a Ugandan domain:

James B. Comey <>

NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

Attn: sir/madam

I wish to inform you that we  have been holding series of meeting with representatives from IMF , United nations and world bank.
It was unanimously agreed that 15 individuals  be given a compensation compensation of $3.00 million in form of cashier check due to  unfinished contract, inheritance payment  they have in Nigeria or loss incurred from Scam.
Other beneficiaries have already receive theirs .
You are the only one whose  cashier check is still undelivered.
You are by this notice advised to contact MR.IBRAHIM DANGWOBE ,ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERATION via the email address  for the delivery of your cashier check .You should cooperate with him and send to him a stamp duty fee of $250 to enable him deliver the  cashier check to you without any huddle.
Thank you for listening to our advice .

Faithfully Yours,
James B. Comey

If I were to listen to his advice, I'd be an even bigger idiot than the, well, idiot who sent this. Still, I felt obliged to reply -- and even offer my heartiest felicitations:

Dear Mr. Dagwobe:

First of all, allow me to congratulate Nigeria on advancing to round 16 of the World Cup. I'm sure that you and your fellow sports fans are proud of a group of grown men who make a living kicking a ball around a field. Who needs a good education, right? From what I read in the papers, your Islamist terrorists don't have much use for education, and they're making some pretty serious headway your way!

Giving you, a total stranger, $250 in exchange for $3.00 million is surely a good deal no matter where you stand. Or sit, like I am now. I don't think anybody stands while sending an email, unless they're really tall and prefer to put the computer on top of the refrigerator. Do you have refrigerators in Nigeria? Pretty hot there! Where else would you store your giraffe pate? 

So what's your address? Let's get this deal cooking, before the terrorists blow up what's left of your country.

Chester Hooten 

Mr. Dagwobe must have fallen victim to the terrorists, because he never replied. Either that, or he choked to death on his giraffe pate.



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